something inside

Something inside has me frightened, curious and insecure

I ponder and doubt like a flickering light, just when I thought I was sure

Who am I at this very moment compared to whom I used to be?

What is it that I should be feeling, based on the things that I see?

Purpose conflicts with action, dreams go against what is real

Pain seems to be an affliction of the time that it takes to heal

I worry for all that’s beyond me, a future without clarity

Though faith is a part of my journey, it’s not yet truly alive within me

I want to be more than what this is, but acceptance unfolds all my fears

For inside I’m still lost and broken in a present that seems so unclear

I’m a slave to lazy desires, which surface beneath my skin

Though I cleanse in my mind and my spirit, I keep wrestling the forces of sin

Great heartache is found in reflection, not only myself as the cause

Situation is rife with submission, to a play with no visible pause

Reminders of anger, of blackness, cloud every intent of goodwill

They live and they breathe with some madness, unwanted and leaving me ill

Yet I know that that the world is calling, begging of all I can give

Strength often so hard to come by, amidst the confines in which others live

My weakness so poignant in these words, but a new day of hope will surprise

For selfishness turns to humility, when looking through another’s eyes

I am more than what I think that this is, though comforted in wallowing prose,

Still I need to revive and refocus, moving on from the doors I should close

There is greater within and above me, more powerful, loving and free

Darkness itself can never withstand the light that is inside of me.

something inside