As quite an independent woman, I always wonder about other women who choose to devote their lives serving a man. Traditional gender roles seem a thing of the past, but observing the relationships around me confirms that they are still very present in the modern day.
Let’s face it, we’re built with different parts – physically, mentally, emotionally – we’ve been designed to be both inferior and superior to the opposite sex in various ways. Though feminist ideals shape a lot of what I think and believe, I have accepted that there are certain things that I cannot perhaps manage as a woman, as well as things that are expected of me, given my femininity. I’d rather not detail exactly what these things are as they may differ for each individual, not to mention spark heated debate that is definitely not my intention for this post.
I suppose I just want to better understand why many women somehow feel incomplete without a man by their side. Indeed, humanity thrives on companionship and a sense of belonging but is loving a man and earning his love really the only source of personal validation?
Admittedly, I have no credibility whatsoever to be writing on this topic, I haven’t yet experienced this idea of true romantic love – it used to be something that I wholeheartedly and wistfully believed in (not that I am now at miserable cynic), but these days it all just seems a little cliche to me. Too much cheese (even for a self-confessed cheese-lover). *NB Previous post exempted.
I am also not the domesticated type, my cooking skills are nothing to be desired (well, if I actually possess them at all) and I just don’t have a flair for other various chores (ie. my aptitude for ironing and folding needs a lot of work). Hence, I feel that if I don’t enjoy performing these tasks for my own benefit, why on earth would I want to commit to fulfilling such duties for a man’s profitability? Ha, with that mindset I guess I won’t be winning any wife/mother-of-the-year awards anytime soon.
Perhaps I am deviating slightly. Truth is, this post is a reaction to something/a range of things that have been happening around me lately. Women I know who have been lured into relationships where the breadwinning male expects his wife to be his servant. Men who abuse them when they fail to keep up with their household responsibilities. Why do these women stay and serve?
It seems a little far-fetched that women here in Australia find themselves in these situations, it’s almost ludicrous given how progressed we are as a society. The heartbreaking thing is, domestic violence can happen anywhere and everywhere. No woman, regardless of her education, status, race, appearance, is exempt from it – it takes just one enraged, heartless and deeply troubled man to inflict the pain. Not just the physical pain, but the emotional kind – that which creates a permanent dent in a woman’s self-worth and dignity; that which requires ongoing treatment even after the visible bruises are gone.
I would never want to devote my life to serve a man like that and I feel blessed that I have the choice not to. Though marriage and time can change things and people, I want to do everything I can to ensure that my partner and I commit to being each other’s servants, to create an environment of love, respect, patience, understanding and selflessness. To know that I am strong enough to get out of any environment that doesn’t breathe those very values.
So yes you could comment on my inexperience in the relationship/love game, I’m also none the wiser at 28 years old, but I have encountered enough in my life to know that one of the most important ingredients to happiness is this: Love Yourself.
My hope is for all women (myself included) to embrace who they are as individuals, regardless of a man’s opinion or society’s expectations. Learn to love who you are, independent of how others show love (or lack of), to you.
You are beauty and grace and strength, you are woman, what isn’t there to love?